Friday, 3 April 2015

All I Do Is Win

You know why I haven't been posting anything on here regularly?

I'm happy.

I am so happy right now and almost everything is going right for once.

So let me tell you about my pelvic exam.

Well really, it's the only thing that's going wrong. My body is rejecting itself and being a pain in the arse which has eventually evolved into me being fingered by a tiny birdwoman doctor and prescribed antibiotics that mean I can't drink alcohol for 2 whole weeks.

No alcohol for 2 entire weeks, 14 days. And 14 nights. It's not even like it's just recommended that I don't drink alcohol. If I do, I will make myself violently ill and wishing for death. But even still... I've just learned how to use the emoji things (is that the right word?) on my phone and the red wine glass was my favourite. Now it's followed by a broken heart.

Oh! Speaking of alcohol, I managed to go out in style with what is now my last occasion with wine. SD drove me back to Aberdeen last night. I bloody love a roadtrip. In fact, this is what I'm like on roadtrips (Shrek the Musical 4evs):

I may or may not have sung this multiple times much to SD's annoyance. But he was the one to challenge me to drink an entire bottle of white wine before we got to Perth. So in about an hour. Anything to shut me up about how my insides were falling out. Really, I think he was more interested in getting me to sing -as da youths say - my jam.

My jam is a song that is very roadtrip appropriate. If SD looks like he's tiring at all, I will steer the music away from my 80s playlist (Holding Out For A Hero is our personal fave. Mainly because once I've had wine, I will look at him all lovey and say that he's my hero. Anything to get him to stop madly waving his arms about to the song whilst DRIVING ON A MOTORWAY) and I will play my jam. It is important to recognise that whenever said jam comes on, one must hold ones hands up to shush everyone whilst saying 'dis ma jam, dis ma jam'. It really befits a classic white girl such as myself.

Anyway. Dis ma jam:

I even attempt to rap. Not gonna lie, I think SD fell a little bit in love with me when he first heard it.

And SD himself? Everything's going fucking amazingly. We've got a bit of dysfunctional long distance thing going as he's living in Glasgow at the moment and only has the weekends free. I'm obviously in Aberdeen and only have 2 days during the week free. There's a lot of car rides for him and train journeys for me but we're making it work.

We're going to Paris for 3 days at the end of May. Hold all your romantic horses though. I only asked him as an afterthought... I'm going to hopefully meet up with my new host family for when I legitimately move to Paris in August. This is a thing that is happening. I am going to live in Paris for the foreseeable future. I know. Pinch me now.

Leaving university was the greatest idea I have ever had. That and going to a log cabin for 2 nights with SD. Fo realz. Just look at it:

We played Scrabble in front of the fire. SD discovered how competitive I was. I denied him sex until I won a game. Apparently being an ex-English literature student doesn't mean you're good at Scrabble. He got 56 points in one go. We bought Scrabble when we got home. We each have a game in our respective flats. Bloody love Scrabble.

We were legit in the middle of nowhere (Dalavich on the West Coast of Scotland if you're interested) so the sky got pitch black at night and there's no streetlights for miles so you have no light pollution. We went and stood on the balcony with mojitos (pretending we weren't in the freezing cold) and looked up at the stars. Romantic as fuck thank you very much.

An actual wood burning stove. A real one. We were properly shite at lighting it. I'm just useless and was too busy drinking wine. SD just really wanted to soak a log in Redex and let it do its thing. I eventually let him. We didn't even burn anything down. We did good considering we were in a place made of wood.

So yes, the log cabin was one of my greater ideas. But leaving university is a close second. I am so much happier. I've even forgotten I even went to university. A huge weight has been lifted from my mind and I know I made the right decision. 

And Paris is sorted! Properly actually sorted! I have a job! In Paris! What even?!

So there we go. The reason I haven't been writing on this blog much is because I haven't had anything to complain about. No man dramas or anything. SD makes me so happy. I'm so glad I got drunk and horny one night in November and decided to text the very tall man in the dinosaur onesie from Halloween.

We're planning to go away on a roadtrip round Europe in Summer. We'll just keep going until his car falls apart. Various bits are already falling off it and I'm pretty sure he bribed the MOT guy to make sure it passed. I'm so excited. 

If it weren't for the minor issue of the pelvic exam; everything would be pretty damn amazing right now. And really, that's a very minor issue. 

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