Sunday, 4 May 2014

Good God! A Gentleman!

Well, well, well little warriors. Have I got a story for you.

Spoiler: I do.

So, on Friday night, I got horrifically drunk. That's nothing new, most of my stories start with some sort of variation of that sentence. This Friday though, I was unbelievably drunk. I worked it out the next day that it was because I had taken paracetamol and ibuprofen before I started drinking - don't do that, kids.

Basically, I was so drunk that a good 7 or so hours from that night are completely missing from my brain. No idea what happened, not sure I want to know.

Anyway, long story short (this isn't even the story I was going to tell you), I woke up in bed with a guy.

He was the friend of one of my fabulous friends that I was going out with; let's call him Troy. Such a fucking gentleman, goodness me. I vaguely remember kissing Troy in 'da club' as the youngsters call it these days. Then I remember waking up next to him in his flat.

And he had been a perfect gentleman. Despite a few hickeys (I hate that word), I was very much unscarred. He had taken me home on the bus and taken me back to his only because I thought I had lost my keys. I also thought I had lost my phone and had definitely lost my blazer. Ragepants about that.

What's more, he had given me a shirt to wear in bed so I didn't have to stay in the top I'd worn out. When I left, he also gave me a hoodie to wear back because I had no jacket since I lost my blazer. This was extremely useful as it meant I wasn't freezing my tits off walking back to mine, I didn't look like I was wearing anything incredibly slutty and I didn't look like I was doing a walk of shame. It looked like I had merely stayed over at my boyfriend's and had borrowed his hoodie to walk back.

So yes, a living breathing gentleman. Take note of this boys and girls; they do still exist.

Maybe chivalry isn't dead after all...?


Present example number two: TGI.

Yep, look who's back, back, back...

Last night was weird.

It was about 1am and I was happily sitting on my bed reading The Fault in Our Stars when I got a text from TGI asking if I was still up. I kinda thought, eh why not let him come round. I mean, it'd been a week or so since I last saw him (8 days actually as he informed me. He'd been counting. Good lord.)

So he came round - bearing in mind I was completely sober and he had been chucked out of 'da club' for being too drunk/being an arse. And it was actually really fun. He was like an over excited little puppy. I mean, it was funny while it lasted but I was ridiculously tired and all that energy got slightly grating.

But we were lying in bed when all of a sudden he goes, 'we should go to the beach'. And I was like, 'sure let's go to the beach'. So we went to the beach.

And you know what? It wasn't half bad.

I mean, it was really bizarre that he'd suggested it, I don't know what had gotten into him. But yeah, we walked to the beach holding hands, got freaked out by statues and dolls in people's windows, chased each other on the beach and then he was a dick and put sand down my top and buried my shoes so I hit him.

But despite all these seemingly rom com movie montage string of events, it just didn't feel right. I didn't feel like I was with someone I liked. It was more like wondering why on Earth this guy, who was just my fuck buddy, wanted to go to the beach with me.

Then he got jealous.

He got jealous when he thought I'd had sex with Troy. Then he got even more jealous when I mentioned that I'd just slept over there.

And then he pretty much said: 'although, to be fair, I suppose it's not right for me to fuck other people whilst wanting you to only sleep with me exclusively.'

Then I realised he's an arse. And I don't want to be with someone who thinks of me like that. I deserve more. I deserve better than to be someone's bit on the side, someone's second best. Although yes, the feeling was mutual to begin with, now it's gotten to the stage of beach walking and not just sex, I don't even know what the feeling is.

So I have decided that I'm not going to see him again. But I'm going to wait until he texts or calls me when he's in town.Then I shall tell him in no uncertain terms that I do not want to play any more. And that I deserve someone who cares about me.

Because dammit, we all do.

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