Saturday, 5 April 2014

Holiday Issues

I have just realised that I may have a slight problem. A problem of a slight size. The size of this problem is what I call, slight. (We all call it slight.)

Bare faced(arsed) fact: I have a regular fuck buddy.

I'm sorry, I had to put it out there in plain view of the world. I apologise if many delicate eyes have been offended.

He is a giant idiot. I would go so far as to say he is THE Giant Idiot. Sort of like The Abominable Snowman. So I have devised a cunning name for him on this here blog, ladies and gentlemen. Dare I say it, even MORE cunning than the oh so cleverly named Steven in my previous post.

He shall be called:

The Giant Idiot.

Or TGI for short. Because that's like T.G.I Friday's and that links to food and really anything that links to food is a good link.

Now, my dilemma is thus: we have another two and a half weeks of holidays before returning to university. I will not see him for another two and a half weeks. He is a giant slut. I therefore fear I may have lost him to another girl with loose morals (but less fabulous hair).

This would be really rather inconvenient to me as it's coming up to the exams and stress relief is very important.

That's not true at all. I don't give a flying pig's arse about the exams or stress. If he did find another chick, I'd mostly be disappointed because he is the only man I've met who can carry me. And I'm six foot tall. That's actually another thing. But that can wait for a further post, I shall hold my tongue on this for the time being.

And yes, maybe I am not being very feminist by lamenting the possible loss of a man in my life. But really, all I am lamenting is the loss of his cock. To put it delicately.*

*Fun fact: I'm not very good at putting things delicately.

I fear that this will have to be a TBC post to prevent you from dying of boredom. Or at least to go get a biscuit or something. Yes, let's put cock loss on hold and go get a cup of tea. Or a tequila shot. Depending on the time of day. Or the type of person.

Yes. I am that type of person.

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