Oh I Can't Be Fucked Thinking Of A Title..

..So sue me.

I get way too emotionally attached.

I always thought I was all aloof and cool and giving no fucks whatsoever about the various men coming in and out of my life.

But TGI unexpectedly popped up on my Facebook newsfeed just now. I'm not friends with him on Facebook so it's not like this is a regular occurrence. But some photos of him and a bunch of other people I used to know in first year turned up. And of course I went through them. Who isn't a little bit self destructive?

And I cried.

I mean, I know I'm hormonal at the moment and have just watched a very stressful episode of Grey's Anatomy; I'm aware of this. But something just got to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not like it was regret or 'the one that got away' type of crap. It was more like... Melancholy.. Memories? Remembering? I don't know. It was a weird fucker of a feeling.

However I am liking SD more and more as time goes by. And I mean, time has really fucking gone by. It's been exactly a month since I've seen him. An entire month of him being on a ship in the middle of the sea. But I would honestly, right now, consider doing an Ariel and giving my voice to the sexy badass that is Ursula, just so I could have SD back right now.

I need hugs, tequila and someone to stroke my hair and tell me I'm pretty. Also he smells good so that's also a plus.

It's ridiculous - he's only a few miles away. I can walk to the beach and see his boat. I went to the beach the other day and gazed out at it like a lonely wife. For about 30 seconds. Because I got distracted by a dog. And forgot all about SD. 

Anyway, I am going to hunt for something vaguely chocolatey in the kitchen (do not judge if it turns out to be Baileys) and then snuggle up in my lonely, empty bed. Although let's be honest, SD doesn't even fit in my bed. He has to contort himself into weird angles while I just sleep blissfully unaware... Maybe I should take a jigsaw to the footboard at the end of my bed?